January 30th my mom and I arrived at the childrens hospital in portland oregon. I had everything set up so they were awaiting my arrival. I was taken in right away to ultra sound so the specialists could take a look at what they were dealing with. It was confirmed she had a great amount of fluid surrounding her tiny brain. To make matters worse I was told she also had a rare condition called amniotic band syndrome. This is where a live skin cell decides to grow and anything it touches it attaches to and grows. They said her hands were caught up in this mess and at this point, she would either have club hands or she would loose them. This meant emergency c-section for the following morning. I had not met the nero surgeon because he was out of town for 3 days, but there was a new matter to deal with so she was coming.
I was so anxiety ridden and scared out of my mind. I had my mother with me but I had fallen away from the church and felt so alone. I felt like I was being punished for the wrong choices I had made in my life. A darkness pushed on my heart and mind like nothing I ever felt. I remember the nurse coming in and giving me some thing to help me sleep. I kept saying I was going to say awake all night because she was alive and moving inside me and I was not going to miss one second of her, just incase she passed upon being born. I fought the pill, I tried to stay awake. The last thing I remember is looking up and thinking that the room at the end of my bed was full of light so warm and comforting, and then I remember the warmest embrace. The thoughts entered my mind that everything was going to be ok. with that I relaxed and fell asleep.
First thing in the morning I was up being prepared for surgery! I remember being wheeled into the ER. I was scared out of my mind. when my mom walked in. She paused at the door and looked at me. I think at that moment she was more scared for me than she had ever imagined being. She says she remembers the look on my face. I was as white as a ghost and terrified. I think I had one of every kind of specialist waiting in that room to take over the minute she was born. The wall was lined with doctors. No one not even the doctors knew what fully to expect.
She cried, she was alive. I told my mom to go with Avri and so in a second I was alone with the surgeons sewing up the hole in the middle of my stomach where Avri once was. I don't know how long I laid there, but I know they were still sewing when my mom walked back through the doors. She was holding her. She walked to me and said "Katie she's perfect"https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-gM1l7DHrFKafiBLoXMurWqsjKoNl14NTx5SX5kNl141tPW85-iA-sAof4B-QlZo1JZ-K6BN4aMu2ZJSh7xMn2EiVr32mIbYM4HRX4N_ZfaCQpJQbh-Q3XYSKO3rF5ck2XaeebmTv1uk/s1600/avri+at+birth.jpg
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