A mothers worst nightmare

Avri was now 2 months old. She still cried so much and it seemed like she never stopped. She would stiffen up and I could not cuddle her. I could not comfort her no matter what I did. I decided it was time to take her in. I went to the emergency room, because no doctors in town would see her. Everyone says, she will need a ct scan so there is no point in bringing her any where but to the ER. I brought her in and the ct scan was done right away. The scan was looked at and decided that her ventricle were very big. This meant that her shunt was not working. The town we lived in did not have a very big hospital and they did not have the services Avri needed, so they decided to life flight her. The word life flight to me meant that this was a life or death situation. I was panicking. My bubble I had created thinking everything was fine was caving in very fast. I remember standing in the room with Avri while the nurses were checking her out. She was screaming more now, she was hysterical. The nurses even seemed frantic. Next thing I know they are trying to get an IV in her. They poked and nothing Her veins were so tiny and she was so wiggly. I asked them to stop. I was freaking out and the nurses some how sensed that and I don't know why or how but they stopped. Life flight showed up. It was so official! They had on these red jump suits that said life flight and I remember thinking they looked like a team of heroes. I never thought about anything but being next to my baby! I was able to get on the flight with Avri! I sat in the back by myself while the team was in a different compartment. This was not a helicopter, it was a small private medical plane. We were almost there and one of the pilots called to me and told me to come up to the front of the plane. I unbuckled my self and went up to the front. They pointed out a comet! We were so close it looked like we were going to fly right through it! For one moment I forgot why I was here and what I was doing. It was amazing! Now we were landing, back to reality , I was to take a seat again! We landed and were rushed into the ER where a team was waiting for us at some double doors. I was allowed to go in with Avri, it was short lived. The nurses started to try the IV again, it did not go in. So the next option was to put it in her head. I did not know but it seemed to me that if a baby had to much fluid on her head, then wouldn't sticking an IV directly into her head add to the problem! I freaked out. I was trying to stop them and next thing I know, I am on the other side of the doors. I had been kicked out!
So stopping here for a a minute! I think when a woman becomes a mother, she is given a certain sense about things! A protective instinct sets in! A mother knows when some thing is wrong with her child, a mother knows when some thing is not right, and if a mother is not sure, she is to fight to protect this child until she is proven wrong or until her baby is safe. No one else is going to do this for your children! No one knows your baby, your kids as well as the mother!
I was out in the waiting area for maybe 5 minutes before the Nero surgeon came in. He shook my hand and the first thing he said to me was he was sorry for the way I was treated. I was right in not letting an IV go into Avri's head and that I could come be with her again. He put her in my arms and had me hold her while he looked at her. Then he explained to me that she did not have pressure on her head! What a relief but on the other hand, I was now 6 hours away from home. I did not drive. I had no way home at this point. And what now, I was not told why she was crying the way she was. I asked..."what is wrong with her " He had no explanation for me, she is just a baby that cries a lot.
Long story short, my mom came and picked us up and brought us home! I never pushed the worry from my mind! She had her good days and her bad days! This is my first baby and I don't know anything different but there are some days that I just know some thing is not right!