Why take time to read this blog?

I have to explain something as I have seen how many people have read this blog. I realized people that really don't know me or my family are reading this blog. I had a conversation with some one around the time that I started this blog about a child that was not doing well. The doctors were offering no hope to this child in any way. The picture painted for the life of the child was very discouraging. It angers and confuses me at these types of things because I have personally witnessed Avri's life in which according to doctors was not meant to be. For any one who did not read from the beginning. I was told to let Avri die. She had no hope for any future. She had to much damage to live to be more than a vegetable. I was also 19 just graduated high school and single. This was going to ruin my life (according to doctors).
I am not writing this blog for any sympathy, I do not need it! I am not writing for money or attention, I do not need that either! I am writing this because if there is one person out there that is discouraged because of some lack of hope given to them for any reason and I can offer insight that things can be different then it gives all the pain and suffering Avri has to go through in order to survive a purpose. It does not seem fair to take an innocent baby and give them some affliction that they will go through for the rest of their life just to help others. The concept of this my seem twisted to some of you readers, but I have to find purpose in this so I can live and not be bitter. Avri does not complain, she dose not ask why, she has never talked a mean word to anyone in her life. She is an example of pure love a true Christ like attribute. She also does not have the ability to express herself to others or to make her purpose heard. I feel like as her mother and greatest voice it is my calling to not only take care of her and protect her but to reach out and give all her suffering a purpose.
Avri has done so good for the last almost 6 years. Our family was helping out with foster care and ended up adopting 2 boys. Avri's issues stopped the minute our first boy came into our life. He was a handful and he still struggles. We got our second boy just a few months after our first. This whole process with our boy's was an emotional struggle for all of us. I honestly do not know if I could have gone through with the whole process if I had to care for Avri at the same time. These boys would not have gotten the care and attention they deserved either. We have had time to make some roots with them and create the bond we all needed. I can say though going through this all again after such a long period of time "I do not miss the illness, but I have missed the quality of thought" I get so busy with just life and I get in my routine though it includes prayer and spiritual growth it is nothing like the faith and thought put into a suffering child of your own.
I was talking to my dad last night on the phone and he said "you will be so blessed one day for all this" I told him "we are already so blessed" Don't get me wrong times like this are so hard and believe me I have said this is so unfair and I have been angry, but I can also honestly say unless you have gone through what we have you will never in a life time get to feel the true love of Christ as I have, and have an honest to goodness understanding of the sacrifice of the only begotten son of God. It kills me to sit back and watch Avri suffer the way she has and is does not compare to Christs suffering the difference is I am helpless, God was not. The love for all man kind he must have had to not reach out and strike the people who tortured his son is not even comprehensible to me. It is easy to forget all these things. I feel honored to have such a special spirit in my care. I would not be me without her.
My point is...don't find sadness in her story. Let this give you strength to be better. Reach for the higher goals in life and know they are possible. Don't read my posts and think of what you can do for Avri or my family (we appreciate the prayers) but think of what you can do to improve your own life through her example. If you can improve yourself in anyway because of her story you have added more purpose to her life's trails and make what she is suffering through all worth it.
Anyone who does know Avri also knows her life is not always pain and suffering. She has more good days than bad. Her life is very full. I intend to keep up with this blog and post her triumphs as well. I wanted to start out from the beginning so the days that I post "my 14 year old daughter just advanced to the second grade reading level" you will understand why this is a huge accomplishment for her.